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- She: Money's expensive!
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- She: [about Hustle & Flow] It's actually kind of uplifting in a way, cause he's a really good pimp. He really cares about his hoes.
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- She: [as I'm trying to kiss her after a night of poker and drinks] No, I can't do it. You smell like something stale at the bottom of a Solo cup.
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- She: My grandpa gave me $100 today for making him an egg salad sandwich.
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- She: [as we pass a Revere Beach sign on the highway] Can we say Reveah Biotch?
- Me: No.
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- She: [discussing her future occupational viability] I made my boss's ad-hoc complicated system into a streamlined complicated system. I'm like Mary Poppins. There has to be a market for that.
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- She: There's just something that's soothing about SVU that's soothing...like the Wiggles.
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- Me: [about this tumblr] I'm gonna put you online, girl. You gonna be famous.
- She: I've heard that before.
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- She: [about becoming a vegan and not being able to eat ice cream] I don't know what to do. I have no joy in life. I think my only option is to buy my own cow and then once we have a mutually respectful relationship I can court it and ask it for its milk.
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- She: [about my stir-fry skills] You're my favorite oriental chef...that's about the food, not the person.
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- Me: I got this new iPhone game yesterday in which the whole point is to drop a piece of candy into a monster's mouth.
- She: I don't understand you people.
- Me: But you're an ex-video game player yourself.
- She: Yeah, but it was games with an actual plot.
- Me: I never really got into RPG or first-person shooter games beyond Doom.
- She: [walking out of the room] This is a conversation we never had.
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- She: It's Friday night. Lots of people on dates.
- Me: Like us.
- She: We're on a date!?
- Me: Yes.
- She: Do you want to come back to my apartment?
- Me: Yes!
- She: Do you want to pay half the rent?
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- Me: [during halftime at Shakespeare's HENRY IV] I have no idea what's going on.
- She: I'll explain it to you. Henry VIII is about to be born because you see Falstaff is pregnant with him and so he must kill his father in order to usurp the Death Star...
- Me: [stopped listening]
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- She: [as we're thinking about taking a trip] I want to drink things out of coconuts, pineapples, mangoes...I could probably be easily deceived into thinking I'm in Hawaii.
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- She: [about Danish tv show The Kingdom] Can we watch science fiction hospital now?
